Bon Chance Matty

How I would love to have been a fly on the wall when Raymond Domenech phoned the Training Centre yesterday.

‘Good Morning,Arsenal Football Club’

‘Bonjour, this is Raymond Domenech. Could I speak to Matthieu Flamini please?’

‘One moment sir’…………’Call for Matthieu Flamini on line one’…..

‘Ello’

‘Bonjour Matty, ici Raymond’

‘Ah oui!’

‘I need you to get out here for the friendly with Argentina’

‘Piss off Gael, I’ve told you before about winding me up about not getting a full cap’

‘Non, Matty, non, it’s really Raymond. I really need you to come out here on the next plane. I’ve lost Mexes’

‘Is that you Armand?’

‘Matty, for the love of God it’s me, Domenech. Get your arse out here NOW!’

‘Ok boss, if you are who you say you are, Mexes is a defender. Why would you want the finest utility midfielder in all of France to replace a defender?’

‘Don’t you start Flamini. This is a golden opportunity for you. I have no time to mess about. The flight tickets are waiting for you at the Air France desk.’

(Flamini checks through the lounge door, and notices neither Clichy nor Traore have their mobile phones to their ear.)

‘Chef, I am sorry, I’m on my way, merci very, very, beaucoup’

‘And Matty’

‘Yes chef’

‘Bring some tea towels, you may need to wash up once you’ve finished making the coffee.’